Learning an Instrument, Buying an Instrument

Knowing the ÁS-ÉS writings for more than ten years, recommending to everyone! Personally considering them timeless classics, often perfect sociological studies, rereading them repeatedly, always discovering something new. Anyone not knowing them, compulsory reading! A few years ago the writings moving to blog.hu:ÁSÉS Brigád. Now me also attempting writing in ÁS-ÉS style, this one being about learning an instrument and buying an instrument.

Parents deciding instrument-learning not hurting child, good for discovering culture, and how useful years later and in adulthood if knowing how to play an instrument. Child at age seven or eight not understanding this, but a few years later seeing excellent musicians on TV and in films, immediately understanding, indeed planning world-star career: forming band within a few years, becoming famous, getting girls no longer problem, making enormous money from gigs, thinking path easy and guaranteed. Strongly helped by watching Back to the Future many times, imagining yourself Marty McFly (also thinking a lot about time travel), Johnny B. Goodeair-guitaring at every opportunity. Not understanding why guitar lessons at music school not involving rock and roll, only endlessly adjusting stupid footstool and thinking guitar held at double-bass angle looking ridiculous.

First year attending only solfège, learning basics (solmisation, letter-note names, rhythms). One year later choosing instrument; anyone becoming wind player first required learning recorder, anyone choosing piano allowed to sit down at piano immediately, therefore looking down on beginner wind player because only learning temporary instrument. Also looking down on guitarist because starting with smaller guitar, thinking only piano a proper instrument. Years later regretting not learning guitar because piano impossible to carry to campfire, therefore chances of impressing girls small. At first learning simple piano pieces, finding them impossible to enjoy. Later playing Mozart, imagining yourself serious classical musician, pompously saying “I play a minuet”. Discovering Jerry Lee Lewis, immediately attempting to play piano with heel. Blessing own brain for having chosen piano after all. Not understanding why instead of minuets not learning Great Balls of Fire . Piano teacher never showing or explaining popular music, only making you practise twentieth boring piece from Bartók's For Children III, this driving you mad. Teacher putting sheet music up and instantly being able to play everything; not understanding how this possible, teacher playing at sight while you suffering with same piece for weeks and still not sounding as professional. Fifteen pieces assigned for summer, but starting only in August, then making complete mess at first September lesson. Teacher asking what you did all summer, looking at floor; cool teacher being understanding, summer not consisting solely of piano practice.

At primary school forming little clique with others attending music school, acting like insiders in front of everyone else during music lessons. Constantly showing off knowledge learned in solfège. Teacher continually telling you to stop because knowing answer to every question, so hearing little new in music class, getting bored, no longer paying attention, doing homework for other subjects instead. By upper primary school or at latest secondary school finally being able to play enjoyable music, guitarists having advantage because able to pull instrument out anywhere. Pianists occasionally playing completely out-of-tune school piano, everybody gathering around saying “wow, you play piano, I didn't know that”; teacher appearing from nowhere, next day piano already padlocked, teacher saying “it'll get damaged”, nobody playing it for months.

Trying to form band, members difficult to assemble, meanwhile concentrating on school remaining priority. Reassessing musician career, deciding music better as hobby, recognising sadly that only few people can make living from it. Secretly still hoping one day manager discovering you and dream coming true after all.

For non-professional musician buying instrument not happening very often, most visits to music shop being just out of curiosity. First wandering around, admiring many beautiful instruments, dreaming of instrument warehouse at home. Checking which instrument already plugged in so can try unexpectedly. Inspecting pianos and synthesisers, comparing with one at home and usually thinking shop ones much better. Thinking about buying, mentioning winning lottery. Looking at many hanging guitars; if knowing nothing, thinking all identical, not understanding number of strings: one having only four, another twelve. Recognising banjo because round and seen in western films. Thinking it sounds fantastic, but probably first needing to learn guitar. Asking for banjo anyway to try, imagining yourself western hero, but unable to produce sensible sound. Thanking very much, admiring and praising instrument, mentally respecting banjo players. Watching other people; everyone trying to look slightly knowledgeable, real hotshots ripping through scales on electric guitar, pounding piano, others gathering round and exchanging looks of “this person knows something”. Meanwhile thinking to yourself you could play that piece much better, but not going to demonstrate now. Asking salesperson for guitars, plugging into amplifier, pressing amplifier controls randomly, creating terrible racket. Better shops therefore having small practice room, but not understanding amplifier, turning everything up, making closed door pointless, everybody fleeing shop. Looking at sheet music, thinking “ah, you can download this from internet”. At till examining guitar picks and harmonicas. Not trying unpacked harmonica because thinking how many people already put it in their mouths before you. Admiring exotic instruments: first assuming decoration, then salesperson revealing rare Eastern instrument, but still not knowing whether supposed to blow it, press keys, hit it or pluck it.

If never learning music before, recalling concerts, films and successes of musician stars, persuading yourself to buy instrument anyway. Salesperson knowing professionally, playing short blues solo on guitar. Feeling this would be easy for you too, secretly feeling like B. B. King, imagining humiliating Satriani at home. Realising guitar also needs case, mentioning instrument-buying not being cheap entertainment. Choosing pile of colourful picks, thinking this will instantly make you able to play guitar. Family thinking whole thing pointless waste of money, reassuring them that music and culture being introduced into family. Meanwhile secretly thinking heavy metal and maximum-volume shredding, regretting never getting chance to smash guitar against amplifier. Realising amplifier also required, no longer fitting budget, therefore choosing cheaper guitar, worrying it will sound worse. Delighted to buy guitar set, arriving home, unpacking, realising gigantic amount of practice required. Fingers refusing to go where ordered, fingertips aching, much suffering, respecting famous guitarists even more.

If deciding on piano, being unable to choose. Gathering thousand pieces of information, reading online whether digital is good or perhaps upright piano, maybe grand piano. Asking shop assistant, but even he unable to decide for you, instead playing Lady Madonna and persuading you to buy. Delivery home... deserving separate sermon. At home looking at many identical keys, noticing pattern. Three black, two black, three black etc., white keys in between. Staring at whole forest of keys, wondering how any of this will ever sound good. At first pressing keys only with right hand, not understanding how to add left hand to it. Searching tutorial videos online, inviting acquaintance to show basics, perhaps going to teacher. Becoming skilful with left hand too feeling like enormous challenge, fearing this may make you start stuttering. Wanting to play fast rock and roll immediately, instead being forced to practise C-major scale for weeks. Reading about it, discovering logic of black keys, things slowly starting to fit together in brain. If buying synthesiser, only later realising keyboard action much flimsier than proper piano. Exploiting synth features: constantly playing with drum machine (without knowing it, doing wonders for steady piano timing), switching on every kind of accompaniment and being completely unable to play along. Pressing demo buttons, pretending to perform along with prerecorded pieces, becoming Zoltán Kocsis. If starting piano as child, passing through early difficulties unnoticed — or at least not remembering any of them as adult — left hand becoming much more capable, later learning touch typing in no time.

Drum kits! Thinking drums can be learned in half a day. Sitting down at biggest kit in shop, sticks in hands, not knowing where feet supposed to go, thinking pedals are clutch, brake and accelerator. Pressing pedals and most unexpected cymbal sounding. Limbs refusing to obey, discovering this within half a minute. Creating appalling racket, other customers staring beginner drummer out of shop. Hitting only tambourine — now thinking, yes, this I can do.

Violin and wind instruments. Apparently two separate categories, yet somehow putting them under same heading in music shop. These instruments tried only by people who already know how to play them. Viola and cello naturally belonging here too. Everyone knowing — unlike drums — that violin difficult to learn. Examining many little bits and pieces of wind instruments already in window, entering shop and being amazed saxophones come in several colours. Thinking of inflating air mattress, not understanding why members of big band do not collapse dizzy after a few minutes from all that blowing. Having great respect for wind players. Mentally comparing with piano and guitar: feeling slightly sorry for wind players because unable to sound several notes at once.